


Perfect Imperfect Love

by VeraBAdler



Series: October 2019 challenges [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Domestic Fluff, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-15 09:04:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20863697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeraBAdler/pseuds/VeraBAdler
Summary: A surprise (as usual, to me as well as to you) followup to yesterday's piece. Dean and Cas are more well-matched than either of them realizes...Prompt 1: MindlessPrompt 2: Traditional Samhain (feasts, bonfires, baking, orange & black)





	Perfect Imperfect Love

Every day, Dean does for Cas.

(He also _does_ Cas, with tenderness and with skill. But that's not what this little story is about.) 

Dean does for Cas in endless ways. His love is incontrovertible and ubiquitous. Cas is aware of it like the air he breathes, the space he moves through. It's a strong arm cradling him in their bed at night. It's the kitchen table groaning with all his favorite foods on a just-because Thursday. It's never needing to wonder if his car is due for an oil change or a tuneup, because she's always looking and running as good as the day she rolled off the assembly line.

It's back massages. It's kisses. It's fresh flowers on his nightstand. It's nature documentaries on the DVR.

(It's screaming orgasms. It's multiple orgasms. It's blackout orgasms. But that's not what this little story is about.) 

Most of the time, Cas can tell, Dean doesn't even have to think about doing these things. They happen naturally, because if Dean isn't in a coma, he's taking care of the people he loves.

His life with Dean, their _human_ life together, is set on the bedrock of Dean's boundless love. Cas never doubts it, never feels it waver.

And he knows he doesn't deserve it.

As an angel, he clearly hadn't deserved his absent Father's love. How could he now, failed and fallen, still learning how to function as a man, deserve Dean Winchester's? It eats at him, this question. He knows that he loves Dean with every bit of himself, but he also knows he's not enough. How could he be? How could he ever be someone so excellent as to deserve the sublime love of the Righteous Man?

He strives each day to become a better man, a better _being_. He endeavors to make himself into someone who could legitimately lay claim to Dean's affections. He devotes his time to self-improvement, and to the fine art of loving Dean back.

The things he does for Dean, the love notes and the soft touches and the special favors – none of it is work. It brings him nothing but joy to put a smile on his lover's beautiful face. 

(It also brings him joy to lavish attention on the non-face parts of his lover's beautiful body. But seriously: _that's not what this little story is about._) 

His anxiety and inadequacy chip away at his heart. He's blissfully happy in Dean's arms, but he never relaxes. He's always waiting for the moment when Dean realizes what a mistake he's made, what a flawed being he's tied himself to.

He tries not to let these cracks in his contentment show. Dean deserves a partner who is utterly devoted to him, someone who harbors no doubts or imperfections. To his shame, though, Dean seems to notice his struggles. His concerned looks and soothing hugs do little to quell Cas's endless self-castigation.

It's late on a day when these feelings had been particularly overwhelming that Dean finds him sitting in the library. He has a book on his lap, but he's not reading it, his thoughts turned inward and dark.

"Hey, sunshine," Dean calls as he enters the room.

Cas isn't feeling much of a match to the sobriquet at the moment. The way Dean's presence warms and brightens him, though, he wonders if perhaps the nickname has been applied to the wrong member of their pair.

"Hello, Dean."

Dean looks like a man on a mission, and Cas expects him to breeze past on his way somewhere important. Instead, he comes close, and then kneels in front of Cas's chair.

Something lands on the book on Cas's lap.

It's a ring.

Cas is confused.

"I love you," Dean murmurs. "Marry me?"

And what can Cas say except _“Yes”_? If Dean wants him, forever, in all his imperfection, then who is he to deny the Righteous Man? Maybe he's enough as he is.

**Author's Note:**

> Rebloggable link for this fic on tumblr is [here](https://blessyourhondahurley.tumblr.com/post/188086578706/october-2-perfect-imperfect-love).


End file.
